Lydia Lukidis and Kaitlyn Leann Sanchez are running this annual writing contest. The rules can be found here: https://lydialukidis.wordpress.com/fall-writing-frenzy-contest-2020/. Using a photo prompt, contestants write any kind of story, poem, or mood piece up to 200 words. My entry follows. Jennifer Raudenbush
Twitter: @jenraudenbush Middle Grade opening Image #1 198 words PB (rhyming or non-rhyming) or MG critique The Book Everly tapped sock-covered toes on her back porch steps, leaves of garnet and gold twirling above her, and breathed in the scent of apples. She wrapped chilly fingers around her mug of hot cocoa, sipped, and sighed contentedly at the perfect reading weather. She opened the library book. Her belly still warm with chocolate, a sudden chill slunk up her spine. Just the crisp autumn air, she thought, with a shiver. She gathered her wool blanket, tucked it around her shoulders. And peeked at the book. It was fine. Everything would be fine. The wind swirled, fluttering the book’s pages thwop-thwop-thwop. Another gust swept flying debris into her hair. She jerked up, swatting at her head. Phew! Only a crusty leaf. Everly smiled at her foolishness. Took a deep breath. Again, the wind whipped, flipping the pages in a violent cascade. Her toes curled. Something was wrong. She peered across the yard. Her stomach, heavy as a pumpkin, dropped. A churning, twisting cone of destruction, gray as a nightmare, loomed above a bile-green sky. The tornado whisked toward her. Everly shuddered. Even as she slammed shut The Wizard of Oz, she knew it was too late. Not again!
40 Comments
Rose C
10/1/2020 10:02:24 am
Love this, Jen! It would totally pull me into a book. Write it! Good luck in the contest.
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/1/2020 10:04:35 am
Thanks so much, Rose!
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10/1/2020 11:08:02 am
Ooh, delightfully creepy, definitely left me wanting more! Good luck! :)
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/1/2020 03:29:27 pm
Thank you!
Jennifer Raudenbush
10/1/2020 03:29:01 pm
I appreciate you stopping by, Brenda. Many thanks!
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10/1/2020 12:44:04 pm
Enjoyed this, Jennifer! A really intriguing opening. Good luck!!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/1/2020 03:29:46 pm
Thanks, Rosanna. Much appreciated :-)
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10/1/2020 09:31:52 pm
I love the sense of how something is off, but you're not quite sure what and then - BAM - surprise ending! Very well done. Love that ending so much!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/2/2020 10:51:40 am
Mwah Ha Ha!
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10/1/2020 09:54:17 pm
Ha ha ha! What a wonderful ending. Love your imagination.
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/2/2020 10:51:57 am
Thank you, kindly!
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10/1/2020 10:14:04 pm
I haven't seen this image used a lot, so was so excited to read your piece! What a delight. I absolutely love the concept and your ending line is just perfect. Great job and good luck!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/2/2020 10:52:13 am
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words.
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10/1/2020 10:45:53 pm
You set the cozy reading scene so nicely and then turned it on its head. Love it! Very engaging.
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/2/2020 10:52:31 am
I appreciate your comments, Sarah!
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10/2/2020 10:38:33 am
yes, I'd like to preorder this book now please! Great job!!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/2/2020 10:52:48 am
Oh, how I wish! Thank you!
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10/2/2020 11:12:40 am
This is great! I love the language, it's beautiful. You had me going that something supernatural and spooky was about to happen. Love the twist at the end and the book reference! Great job. :)
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/3/2020 06:38:57 am
Awwww! Thanks so much, Melissa!
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10/3/2020 12:07:45 am
Your story left me wanting more! So good:) Thanks for sharing it!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/3/2020 06:39:21 am
I appreciate you stopping by to read it, Colleen!
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10/3/2020 02:17:34 pm
O yes! This definitely has me wanting to read more! I have so many questions! Please let me know if you end up writing more.
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/4/2020 08:32:50 am
Thank you, Meghan! I will :-) .
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Anne Lipton
10/3/2020 05:14:06 pm
"Heavy as a pumpkin," Boy, can you drop a description! Your storytelling is sublime with excellent tension, pacing, and sensory details that build to a wicked twister ending! (Although I'm hoping this is only the beginning. I'd love to follow Everly on her journey down that yellow brick road.)
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/4/2020 08:33:15 am
That's very kind of you, Anne. Thank you!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/5/2020 06:46:12 am
Thanks, Ana. I appreciate your support!
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10/5/2020 09:42:13 am
Jennifer, very exciting to read. Loved the surprise at the end!❤️
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/5/2020 09:55:57 am
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting :-) .
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10/10/2020 05:27:04 pm
Hi Jen, Your PB & J friend here. I love this story -- the calm beginning, the terrifying ending, and the juxtaposition with the book Everly is reading. Wonderful!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/11/2020 07:44:31 am
Awwww, thanks so much, Connie!
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10/12/2020 01:13:41 am
Haha great unexpected ending, thanks so much for sharing this creative story with us for the Fall Writing Frenzy!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/12/2020 06:31:44 am
You're welcome! Thanks for all you do with this great contest.
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10/13/2020 12:06:58 am
So clever and beautifully written! Bravo! I want to read more!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/13/2020 03:37:00 pm
Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my story, Karen.
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/15/2020 06:20:03 am
Thanks for your kind words, Shelley!
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Jennifer Raudenbush
10/18/2020 06:55:59 am
Annie, you are so sweet! Thanks for the encouragement :-) .
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